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Back in days when I had a “proper job” we had a Christmas tradition of a sending a round robin email in lieu of Christmas Cards. For reasons that have become lost in the mists of time my version always included a joke.
I revived the tradition last year with a joke posted here. Here’s the 2010 edition, don’t groan!
The U.S.S Colorado had been delayed by various technical issues but is now heading at full speed to rendezvous with other ships for a major NATO exercise. There would be considerable embarrassment if they arrived late so the Captain has given specific orders that there must be no variance in course or speed.
At 0300 (3 a.m.) the helmsman sees an unidentified contact on the radar. He immediately gets on the radio, “Unidentified vessel this is the U.S.S. Colorado, advise you adjust course five degrees north to avoid a collision”.
The reply was immediate, “Negative, Colorado, advise you adjust course five degrees south to avoid a collision”.
The officer of watch took the radio, “Unidentified vessel do you have a problem?”
“Negative, Colorado, no problem here.”
“ Then advise you pull up your fishing gear and adjust course five degrees north to avoid a collision.”
Once again the reply was, “Negative, Colorado, advise you adjust course five degrees south to avoid a collision”.
The officer of the watch had no choice but to wake the Captain, who was far from amused.
“Unidentified vessel this is Captain Eugene A Rickenbacker, United States Navy. Adjust your course five degrees north or I’ll steam right over the top of you with half a million tons of aircraft carrier.”
“Negative, Captain, you adjust course five degrees south.”
The Captain is incandescent with rage, “Who’s in charge of that heap of junk? You can tell him from me he’s in deep trouble!!”
“That’d be me Captain, Bill Brown, Head Lighthouse Keeper.”
Merry Christmas!
Kevin
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